Wednesday, August 09, 2006

When is it enough time?

When is it enough time to understand, comprehend, let go, forgive...... and forget!!! Their is no perfect time.... their is no specific time. We haven't developed a mathematic formula that provides a solution to this problem. In any event it would look something like this:

DFaF= (APF * IoEO)/DoRaI

Let's break it down a little:

DFaF = Days to Forgive and Forget by the person victim of the ocurrence
APF = Amount of Pain Felt by the person victim of the occurrence
IoEO = Importance of the Event or Ocurrence to the person victim of the action.
DoRaI = Degree of Regret and Importance shown by the person who performed the action

If you see the formula it's pretty simple; that is, if you find simple to put in numbers values such as "amount of pain", "importance of the event" and "Degree of Regret". We could add that no value should be over 100, or negative. Also no values should be lower than 1. Ummmmmmm its getting pretty interesting. If you check it out the maximum amount of time you could take to FaF is 100*100 days. That is 10,000 days. That is roughly 27.4 Years. If you can't let bygones be bygones in 27 years, then maybe the event is pretty more serious than what you tought. Besides, that means you feel the other person(s) involved has no DoRaI.... in that case should you even consider trying to find the DFaF??? Maybe not.

But then there is another catch...... This formula, used separately by each individual in a couple or each person in the argument, can provide a wide variaty of results, and that is because their is no exact measurements for the most important variables in all the formula: APF, IoEO, and DoRaI.

Maybe your result is 10 days, but your spouses result is 25 ... or if deeply angered 1000 days.... or if she doesnt feel you deeply regret one bit.... 27 years... So as you can see, a wide range of discrepancies can occur in the result. That is why this formula is not to be worked out individually but together. You will find common ground on the issue, you will know how much the other person feels for you, and you will know how bad you made the other person feel. You can also make a point for yourself and you may even get a smile out of everything...

At the end the DFaF is only a number, the time may be definetely shorter, but never longer.. and the people involved will have an understanding of how important they are to each other.

If you have any other questions about the rules on how to apply the formula, feel free to contact me.


The Mistakes you Make

Sometimes you realize in some ways your acts are irrational, based on nothing and supported by less. The problem is that sometimes you realize it too late. Also, that thing about the good side and the bad side of the brain do exist. Prove beyond considerable doubt is also a serious issue to take into account before "The Mistakes you make"

The important thing here is to realize and accept your mistake. This error can hurt someone, or hurt many; it can cripple or harm you; it can destroy what will take a long time to repair, and it can linger for hours or forever.

It's hard not to make these mistakes, because they are part of life, part of living and part of loving. Maybe triggered by unknown, unproven events. Or by a mind with too much time to think and create. Maybe triggered by that one thing someone did that hurt you so much you just yet can't forget. Other times triggered, even if its hard to believe, by unconditional emotional love! Or by all of the above.

Whatever triggers your mistakes, accept them, try to mend them, and most importantly, learn from them.

And whatever you do, please don't make the same mistake twice.